Paula, you'll never be the sister who infests my dreams
She walks on the outside of me and leaves Harri in between
My love, a sword long and sharp, and wielded by my hand to part
My best friend and his better half, the only one I wanna have
'Cause all I want is George Harrison's wife

Paula, from Surrey go, just go, I can't keep it up
If you'd Dover's cliffs of all pure blow I'd still not take your bloody nose
As she grins at me through rabbit's teeth, the blind faith of my friend's conceit is deaf
The sun is come back down, and all that I can think about
Is how I want George Harrison's wife (All he wants...)
All I want is George Harrison's wife (All I want...)

And though it feels so wrong
Still I know it can't be wrong
Even if I never write a better song

Paula, our God is great, and would he dare consign my fate
(Paula, all I wanna do is stay close to you)
To loving Patti more than life if it weren't wholly good and right?
([and Patti too,] help you out of your bell bottom blues)
If I've erred, may this record fail
(We'll go)
Make Patti's womb a barren well
(Turin or Rome)
May Gordo rot in a madman's cell
(This ain't no kinda home)
May I be really poor at child care
(Mind if George and Patti come along?)
'Cause all I want is George Harrison's wife
(All I wanna do is George Harrison's wife)
All I want is George Harrison's wife
(Paula will have to do)
All I want is George Harrison's wife
(Acceptable substitute for George Harrison's wife)

And if she'd give me half a chance (Just one little half)
You know it's bound to ever last
I don't need Italian models, too
Or lines and lines of coke to do
I'll keep my bastards to a few
You'll pass this message on to Patti won't you?